Updated: Sep 18, 2018
It’s true! We are overwhelming and like to be ourselves which is loud and we like to bring that loudness to your house. But, don’t be scared off by this, my children, all four of them are much better behaved when they are a guest not to mention the fact that my eldest who is nearly a fully grown adult can entertain our little ones while we eat in peace and quite, well more peace and quite than what we usually get in our own house at meal times.
Your house is tidy. Maybe you have been to my house and seen how messy it is. Okay, I am not clean mad, I don’t think I have even a little bit of OCD about cleaning in me. My house might be decorated in yesterday’s dinner, you might find a stray sock of two that the toddler has taken off, you might find the mucky school clothes the children have taken off and not put in the wash, you might find a used nappy the husband has forgotten to lift, and you may even find the baby’s squashed in fruit on the rug, and you will see the to do ironing pile that is trying to get into the Guinness book of records. So, your house might be pristine therefore I promise my children will not leave their clothes lying and will not squish their food onto your walls or flooring, and we promise to lift the baby’s nappy. But it doesn’t matter if your house is pristine and mine is messy, I’m not caring what anyones elses house looks like. I’m there to see you not your house unless your selling your house then I’m there to look at your house but I would see by the mess if there was one.
Then there is the expense. Yes, it’s expensive feeding a family of six. So, don’t feed us, we are quite happy just to come over for a drink and conversation, we might even get to listen to you through our children’s noiseness. If you want us to come for dinner, we would happily bring a dish or two, even dessert, we could even stretch to bringing some wine, you might need it after hosting our large family.
You might not invite us because you think we are busy. Yes, my socialising can be full at times but not with fun stuff. It consists of the food shop run, doctors appointments, swimming and horse-riding lessons and the last minute cupcake baking sessions for the school fundraising events. So in reality I am no busier than you are and we all have to eat at some-point so why don’t we eat together. I know i haven’t invited you round in a while but someone has to go first.
Maybe you’re tired. But let me tell you a secret, we are tired too. I have hit a big age number and have an overworked husband who works long hours, an emotional teen who thinks it’s against his human rights when you confiscate his phone, a moody primary schooler who has major emotional breakdowns on a daily basis, a boisterous but funny toddler who often likes to cover the house in toilet roll and a baby who has so many allergies our weaning journey is spent checking the back of packaging for all allergy word ingredients, maybe the baby should have come with an allergic to warning label it would make life a lot easier, but then that would make life too simple and where would be the fun in that.
If we come to your house for tea, we promise not stay after 8, as the little ones have to go to bed because if we stayed longer our lives will be a living nightmare the next day, quite literally. But, if you don’t want us to come for tea, we will happily come any other time that suits you when you are most awake, but we draw the line at the middle of the night, we don’t do middle of the night night snacks.
And if you’re not inviting us because you don’t like us, that’s fine. We don’t have to be friends with everyone, I often tell my children this. And if you do like us, just invite us over, I promise to invite you over to ours, but you will need to bring your own chairs, unless your bottom is used to sitting on the floor. Oh, on second thoughts maybe bring a table extension to, then we can all sit round one table as family and friends and enjoy a meal together.